Mr. Mistoffelees Lyrics

Rum Tum Tugger: YOU OUGHT TO ASK MR. MISTOFFELEES
                THE ORIGINAL CONJURING CAT
                THERE CAN BE NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT
                PLEASE LISTEN TO ME AND DON'T SCOFF
                ALL HIS INVENTIONS ARE OFF HIS OWN BAT
                THERE'S NO SUCH CAT IN THE METROPOLIS
                HE HOLDS ALL THE PATENT MONOPOLIES
                FOR PERFORMING SUPRISING ILLUSIONS
                AND CREATING ECCENTRIC CONFUSIONS
                THE GREATEST MAGICIANS HAVE SOMETHING TO LEARN
                FROM MR. MISTOFFELEES' CONJURING TURN
                AND WE ALL SAY: OH! WELL, I NEVER!
                WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
                AS MAGICAL MR. MISTOFFELEES?
                HE'S QUIET AND SMALL, HE IS BLACK
                FROM HIS EARS TO THE TIP OF HIS TAIL
                HE CAN CREEP THROUGH THE TINIEST CRACK
                HE CAN WALK ON THE NARROWEST RAIL
                HE CAN PICK ANY CARD FROM THE PACK
                HE IS EQUALLY CUNNING WITH DICE
                HE'S ALWAYS DECEIVING YOU INTO BELIEVING
                THAT HE'S ONLY HUNTING FOR MICE
                HE CAN PLAY ANY TRICK WITH A CORK
                OR A SPOON AND A BIT OF FISH PASTE
                IF YOU LOOK FOR A KNIFE OR A FORK
                AND YOU THINK IT IS MERELY MISPLACED
                YOU'VE SEEN IT ONE MOMENT
                AND THEN IT IS GONE
                BUT YOU'LL FIND IT NEXT WEEK
                LYING OUT ON THE LAWN
                AND WE ALL SAY: OH! WELL, I NEVER!
                WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
                AS MAGICAL MR. MISTOFFELEES?
All Jellicles:  OH! WELL, I NEVER!
                WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
                AS MAGICAL MR. MISTOFFELEES?
                OH! WELL, I NEVER!
                WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
                AS MAGICAL MR. MISTOFFELEES?
Rum Tum Tugger: HIS MANNER IS VAGUE AND ALOOF
                AND YOU WOULD THINK THERE WAS NOBODY SHYER
                BUT HIS VOICE HAS BEEN HEARD ON THE ROOF
                WHILE HE WAS CURLED UP BY THE FIRE
                AND HE'S SOMETIMES BEEN HEARD BY THE FIRE
                WHEN HE WAS ABOUT ON THE ROOF
                AT LEAST WE ALL HEARD THAT SOMEBODY PURRED
                WHICH IS INCONTESTABLE PROOF
                OF HIS SINGULAR MAGICAL POWERS
                AND I'VE KNOWN THE FAMILY TO CALL
                HIM IN FROM THE GARDEN FOR HOURS
                WHILE HE WAS ASLEEP IN THE HALL
                AND NOT LONG AGO THIS PHENOMENAL CAT
                PRODUCED SEVEN KITTENS RIGHT OUT OF A HAT
                AND WE ALL SAY:
All Jellicles:  OH! WELL, I NEVER!
                WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
                AS MAGICAL MR. MISTOFFELEES?
Rum Tum Tugger: AND NOT LONG AGO THIS PHENOMENAL CAT
                PRODUCED SEVEN KITTENS RIGHT OUT OF A HAT
                AND WE ALL SAY: OH! WELL, I NEVER!
                WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
                AS MAGICAL MR. MISTOFFELEES?
All Jellicles:  OH! WELL, I NEVER!
                WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
                AS MAGICAL MR. MISTOFFELEES?
                OH! WELL, I NEVER!
                WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
                AS MAGICAL MR. MISTOFFELEES?
                OH! WELL, I NEVER!
                WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
                AS MAGICAL MR. MISTOFFELEES?
                OH! WELL, I NEVER!
                WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
                AS MAGICAL MR. MISTOFFELEES?